Ways to spice up your sex life with foreplay

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Dr Rajan Bhonsle

Pronounced as India’s top sexologist, Professor Dr Rajan Bhonsle, MD, is a senior sex therapist and counsellor from Mumbai, practicing for more than 35 years. He is an Hon p

Foreplay is the ‘foremost’ and one of the most vital aspects of a sexual relationship between a man and a woman.

Absence of foreplay, inadequate foreplay or inappropriate foreplay can completely destroy the possibility of a romantic, mutually fulfilling relationship between the two partners. In contrast, a good foreplay can greatly help the couple to build a good sexual relationship and also a great bond as life partners.

An emotional foreplay begins way before two people physically come together. How and what you communicate with each other, how you treat each other, how you make each other feel during your interactions… form a solid foundation for the impending foreplay which then can get highly arousing and passionate when you actually get close physically.

Foreplay does involve mutual touching, holding, kissing, caressing, fondling; however, how you do what you do is so very important in this process. A crude hasty touch, a forceful kiss, a rough squeeze can completely work against the possible romantic build up. Far from arousing it can be a huge put-off and cause detestable repulsion.

At a physical level, a good foreplay can kindle strong emotions, heighten sensations on the body, awaken dormant erogenous zones and get the bodies charged up and all ready for the passionate intercourse.

The way man needs a good erection to be able to achieve penetration, woman needs good amount of lubrication (wetness) to facilitate pleasurable penetration and enjoy the intercourse. A lack or inadequate secretions (lubrication) can cause discomfort and even pain during penetration, making it difficult to enjoy any further, or experience orgasm and feel the satisfaction. The lubrication is often directly proportional to the ‘quality’ and ‘duration’ of foreplay between partners. Dryness denotes lack of arousal; and lack of arousal is often a result of lack of mutually satisfying foreplay.

There is also a downside to an extended foreplay. It can cause the male partner lose his erection. The ability to ‘sustain’ erection for a longer duration declines with age as a part of a natural aging process. This needs to be kept in mind and communicated to each other, to avoid disappointment, when a highly aroused woman finds her partner having lost erection.

Most of the loving couples discover their unique ‘timing’ when a foreplay can lead to a satisfying intercourse. In case of mismatch of such a timing in spite of their sincere efforts… either when a woman takes ‘longer’ time to getting ready or when her partner is losing his erection bit ‘earlier’, this situation can be helped by using an artificial lubricant.

All that partners expect in a foreplay needs to be communicated to each other, so that it can help in building a mutually gratifying intimate relationship.



Views expressed above are the author’s own.



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