What your sexual fantasies say about you
HAVE you turned your wildest sexual fantasy into reality?
More people than ever are playing out their saucy thoughts — with threesomes, outdoor nookie and use of sex toys the most common dreams.
New research by sex toy brand sinful.co.uk found that Scousers and Geordies are the most likely to fulfil their bedroom desires.
But your fantasies can reveal a lot about your life. Sexpert Kate Taylor breaks down the eight most common and explains what they mean.
YOU WANT TO DOMINATE
THIS is one of the most common sexual fantasies for both men and women.
If your mind often wanders into scenarios where you are bossing the bedroom, it could signal that you feel taken for granted in your relationship, or not in control of your life.
Perhaps your partner makes all the decisions at home.
You don’t feel your voice is being heard, so this fantasy lets you create a world where YOU are in charge and can give pleasure — or pain — as you wish.
YOU WANT TO BE DOMINATED
NEARLY 65 per cent of women fantasise about being dominated in bed, according to the Journal of Sexual Medicine.
Dreaming of being spanked or even taken “against your will” is a sign that you feel overwhelmed by responsibilities in everyday life.
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You’re someone who has a lot of influence over other people, maybe more than you want, and a sexy BDSM fantasy is a chance to let go of the reins.
You might even find real sex leaves you feeling guilty or ashamed.
HAVING A THREESOME
A SOCIAL psychologist discovered that the more supporting characters in your sexual fantasy, the more you have a need to be seen and recognised by the world.
Justin Lehmiller studied sexual desires for his book, Tell Me What You Want, and says if yours involve having sex with a couple, you are looking for adventure, not commitment.
If there are a lot of people, you crave admiration.
If you imagine giving pleasure, you feel you haven’t fulfilled your potential.
SEX WITH A STRANGER
PICTURING a nameless, faceless partner can be intoxicating because there is no fear of being judged.
If you go through life trying to please people or living up to the expectations of others, you’ll probably escape into a world where you can let go.
With a stranger, you can show off your dirtiest desires without caring what they think.
There’s also no commitment with a stranger, so you are probably yearning for more freedom.
AFFAIR WITH YOUR BOSS
FIFTY-SIX per cent of men and 69 per cent of women fantasise about having sex with their boss or another authority figure, according to Lehmiller.
If you don’t even fancy your line manager yet they keep strolling half- naked into your brain, what’s going on?
It suggests you’re craving what your boss represents. For example, you want more power. Or more respect.
You know you’ve got more to give the world and you’re scared you won’t get it.
WATCHING OTHERS HAVE SEX
MOST of us enjoy watching sex (hello, multi-billion-pound porn industry) or seeing naughty bits on TV (hi there, Naked Attraction), but voyeurism means you are aroused by watching someone else without them knowing.
This is about feeling powerless — you don’t feel important in life, so you take the upper hand in your fantasies.
But daydreaming about openly watching is different — this is simply a passive, low-effort way to enjoy sex.
BEING WATCHED BY OTHERS
THESE fantasies — where someone sees your naked body or watches you in bed — usually focus on the effect you have on someone else.
If you enjoy the thought of shocking someone, then you are an exhibitionist who probably feels slightly invisible in the world.
If you fantasise about driving them wild as they watch you in bed — you might be lacking in confidence, are preoccupied with what other people think or simply want to be adored.
DO your fantasies play out like a Richard Curtis movie, complete with tender words and silk sheets?
You’re likely a big-hearted perfectionist who spends more time in their own head than in bed.
You might also be scared to show your true personality in case you turn partners off.
You retreat into Mills & Boon-style romps, where you are in charge of everything, from the sweeping soundtrack to the exact moment when your prince will arrive.