His/Her story: “My wife & her friends discuss each other’s sex lives. I feel exposed and cheated.”

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His story: My wife’s chat with her friends is so explicit that it can put any man to shame. Why does she have to talk about such X-rated stuff? They all discuss each other’s sex lives too! It’s beyond my understanding. I feel exposed and cheated.

Her story:

My girls and I discuss everything and it does include our sex lives. This is how we exchange tips and support each other because where else can we take our problems if not friends first. We have been together since school but my husband has issues with this. He thinks I expose him and somehow feels cheated. I don’t know how to handle his reaction.

Expert advice by Vishal Bhardwaj, Founder and Relationship Coach at Predictions For Success: Sexual life is indeed a very personal affair but the degree of censorship differs from one person to another. Few people can’t even speak loudly that they are sexually active while others can talk very openly about it. This case is a very good example of the same scenario.

For Him: It’s absolutely understandable why you are feeling so devastated. However, you have to understand that the level of comfort of your partner with her friends is very deep and there are high chances it has been the same since years (maybe even before your marriage). You should talk about this to your wife and tell how uncomfortable you feel about this. I am sure an open conversation can effectively decrease the degree of issue.

For Her: Sex is not just about bodies but our mind plays a very important role in this. How would someone feel if they know someone is observing their intimate moments? It will definitely impact their sex drive. Sex doesn’t end after the act but it remains in our mind and hence it is must for both partners to understand and respect the mental aspect of each other in those regards.

Shishir Singh, Relationship Coach: It is time for you to improve your sex life and talk with your spouse openly. Most couples shy away from this topic and don’t even discuss it with each other. This leads to secrecy and privacy that eventually garner the thorns of infidelity. She has probably tried to explain things to you and has found her alternative. Friends do discuss and most prominently she is not comfortable discussing all the X rated stuff with you. She is speaking with a free mind and most likely reporting her innermost feelings to them. You should get into that comfort zone and make your relationship a better one.

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