Maude Vibe Review 2022: This Is the Sex Toy I Didn’t Know I Needed
Despite writing about sex toys for my job, I’ve personally struggled to find a vibrator that I really, really liked. The ones I’ve tried were distractingly loud, clunky in design, and with too many settings for me to focus on the experience itself. As a single person, sex toys for couples were nice to read about but did not get much testing from me. Plus, I had my hand, and I’ve always thought a hand was enough to get the job done! It’s intuitive and highly portable. It took a pandemic to make me finally break down and give vibrators a try again.
After a two-year stretch sans intimate touch from another person, a global epidemic descended (remember that? Oh wait…) in which physical contact became a life-threatening offense. By the fall of 2020, like many solo people, I was incredibly
sexually frustrated horny. I was horny, okay? I could hear my neighbors in the apartment above me going at it like unneutered dogs, and that didn’t help. The show Normal People definitely didn’t help (Paul Mescal, call me). In 2021, a shadow turned me on. That’s all I’ll say about that.
As reliable as my hand was, my imagination began outpacing my fingers, so I bought a couple of different vibrator models; one that resembled a penis more accurately than felt comfortable, followed by a suction vibrator that was about as loud as a fighter jet (which led to using earplugs while jiggling my jelly bean—not sexy). Both vibrators left me teetering back in Hand Camp. That is until the Maude Vibe came into my life.
Writing about sex toys for SELF, I’ve covered Maude, an award-winning, expert-recommended sexual wellness company, at length, without trying its products myself. I was a teeny bit skeptical of such a trendy-seeming company, but when Maude offered to send a sample of its OG vibe—aptly named Vibe—I decided to give it a go, and… hoo boy. Y’all.
Right out of the pouch (because the Maude Vibe arrives inside a snug canvas carrying case with a small charging cord), I was impressed. What’s striking is just how sleek, small, and discreet Vibe’s design is. It’s shaped like a blend of an egg vibrator and a finger vibrator. The rounded base fits naturally in my hand and tapers to a soft tip. I hold it like a wand, and it makes my lady-bits go, “Lumos.”
How does Maude Vibe work?
The minimalist in me appreciates how simple and to-the-point the Maude Vibe is to use. A long press of its single-button turns the vibrator on and off, and a quick press cycles it between three intensities. That’s it! But don’t be fooled. These intensities are each delicious in their own right—and very quiet. The lowest vibration is a warm, rumbly sensation; the middle ramps up in fluttering; the highest intensity is eye-poppingly powerful yet simultaneously gentle. The first time I used the Maude Vibe, the back-to-back orgasms were so strong that tiny vessels around my eyes burst, giving me freckles. I realize how alarming that sounds, but I promise, I was pleased. My whole body was pleased—and relieved—within under two minutes of contact.