For Readers, “Nevada” Is a Landmark. For Imogen Binnie, It’s a Reminder

No Comments

So much of Nevada ends up being situated in the erotic, and James consumes a lot of feminization porn; in your new afterword, you actually reveal your old pen name on the erotica website Fictionmania, which I thought was very bold!

Something I’m really drawn to is narrative audacity. When I had the idea to do that, I was like, “Yeah, that’s really compelling as an audacious thing to do.” But also, talking about having written on Fictionmania without saying the author name I was using just felt like a secret that could have power in a way. Even though it feels vulnerable, this is where I was at 20 years ago when I was learning to write about this stuff. It just felt like, on top of being audacious, “You know what? Come at me, bro.”

You write in the afterword that you’re not very proud of that material now, but there was one that I absolutely loved where two protagonists brutally murder the Spells “R” Us wizard, who force-feminized male protagonists without their consent.

When I was writing for Fictionmania, I was like, “I am drawn to this part of the internet and therefore this part of psychosocial space” or whatever. This feels like home more than other places feel like home, but it’s so conservative in terms of stylistic conventions and content, and so predictable.

I think I was unhappy with my life. I was in a relationship that was not that good for me. And I think I was like, “I really hate how people keep writing these Spells ‘R’ Us stories that are exactly the same over and over.” In retrospect, who cares? You don’t have to read them. But at the time I was like, “I am so mad about how predictable all these stories are that I’m going to publish one in which they kill the wizard.”

On some level, there was a really real impulse that I stand by, which was [that] we don’t have to keep telling the same fucking stories over and over. But yeah, my way of addressing that was maybe not how I would do it now that I’m 43.

I’ve tried to write about feminization porn and explain that it was one of the only contexts through which I could figure out what person I wanted to be. And yes, it was extremely horny. 

I don’t know that I would frame it exactly this way now, but I used to frame it as: you can lie to yourself in a lot of ways, but when you get down to this thing that’s about sexuality, it’s almost just below your consciousness. And so, in order to access that, you can’t fuck around, you know what I mean? Whether you’re a trans woman or a cis woman, it probably makes a lot of sense to feel most comfortable being a woman in the context of sexual experience. If what you need to do is get to this space of feeling like your body is consistent with something that’s going on inside your head, feminization porn and erotica is a pretty elegant way to get there. It’s this fantasy of “somebody’s making me do this thing that I know that I must not want, so therefore I don’t have to want it, but I still get to do this thing.”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.