Tag: Porn

Caroline Spiegel Is Rethinking Porn for the Next Generation

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Women have been struggling with how to have it all since, well, ever. For Caroline Spiegel, the answer may lay in the bedroom. Her view on it: We can’t fully show up for ourselves or others until we’re really, truly “served in the most intimate parts of our lives.”

It’s a mission that drives Spiegel, the founder and CEO of sexual wellness app Quinn. Built for women by women, Quinn is designed to provide an alternative to conventional visual pornography. 

In 2019, Spiegel was recovering from anorexia and one of the side effects she experienced was a lack of libido. Unable to orgasm, she turned to porn in hopes of getting back into her groove but became frustrated with the content available on major sites like Pornhub and YouPorn. Not seeing her arousal reflected in the content was, simply put, not sexy. 

“We can say that it’s an act and fantasy and play, but it’s actually contributing to a very large industry,” Spiegel says. “That is the sort of studio porn model that historically has really exploited women.”

She eventually found an audio erotica Internet community and fell in love with the medium. Captivated, she dropped out of her computer systems program at Stanford and moved to New York to start Quinn. By removing the often-degrading visual elements of porn, audio erotica allows listeners to focus solely on the fantasy at play. There’s nothing quite so thrilling as hearing someone focus all of their energy on you, whether you’re in the mood for some gentle aftercare or something rougher. Spiegel describes the experience as “closer to Headspace” than to Pornhub. 

For $4.99 a month, the app offers subscribers a library of various erotic audios uploaded by creators called “voices.” Content categories include gentle and rough, dominant and submissive, friends to lovers, and even historical for those looking to get their Bridgerton fix. Male and female voices are included in the library with MLM and WLW audios offered as well. 

“I can really get lost in these worlds,” Spiegel says. “Whether I’m in an audio about the Victorian era, or a fight with your ex-boyfriend that turns steamy…whatever it is, it really can transport you.”

For Spiegel, gender equality goes beyond equal pay and fights in the courtroom—it extends to the bedroom as well, and providing an imaginative ethical porn platform ultimately services women. “Zooming out, the public sector can only go so far,” Spiegel says. “At a certain point, it’s up to the private sector to be like, ‘Okay, what are the products and services women need to be more fulfilled, happier, and just served as customers in our society.”

For Glamour‘s Doing the Work series, Caroline Spiegel shares her experience navigating the porn industry as a female CEO, plus the advice and routines that help her along the way.

Do you have a morning routine?

Caroline Spiegel: I walk to a grocery store near me, and I sometimes bring my dog on the walk. I get two cold brews. One is for around 11 a.m., and the first one is for the morning time. I take a shower and whenever I take a shower, I listen to a podcast. My favorites right now are Pivot and Acquired. I have no routine other than those three things.

So beyond the two cold brews, are you a breakfast person?

I’ll get a breakfast burrito at Erewhon, or they have this really good almond butter smoothie. I can’t say I’m a huge breakfast person, but when I am hungry, I’ll do one of those.

What was your first childhood dream job?

Oh, I know this one! Olympic swimmer.

Did you swim?

I did—well, kind of. I just remember I loved swimming. I was obsessed with it. I thought Michael Phelps was the coolest person ever.

And what was your first actual job?

I worked in a robotics lab at USC, actually. It was called the human-robot Interaction Lab. I was an intern, and I was an assistant to researchers.

How do you typically deal with any rejection or setbacks?

I take a moment and ask, “What can I learn from this?” Are there any productive insights we can glean from this situation and why I was rejected? I pick those up and take them with me. The rest of it, I just throw away. It’s not of service anymore to sit and mope on or ruminate on why they didn’t like me, or why wasn’t a fit. If there are any concrete lessons I can take, then I’ll put those in my little metaphorical backpack and keep on trucking.

What is the best piece of career advice that you’ve personally received?

I think it was from my mom. It was something about how bees go to honey. That was the general premise of the advice, but it was basically: Be someone that people enjoy working with. Don’t be a dick. Just be kind to others—even and especially if you really don’t like them.

The porn industry is a very male-dominated one. What is your experience navigating it as a female CEO?

Whether it’s with an investor or just anyone I’m talking to about Quinn, a lot of their views have already been shaped by consuming Pornhub-type content once, twice, three, four times a week since they were 14. It puts me at a disadvantage going into that conversation, especially because I don’t even know: How does this person feel about porn? What kind of shame do they have? Do they have no shame? Are they interested in this? For some people, it can be a sensitive topic.

What is your biggest at-work challenge?

Something I’m working on is prioritization. Even if I think to myself in the morning, “What’s the one thing I need to get done today?” versus the nice-to-have. It’s kind of the name of the game because you could do really great work on something, but then it’s just not particularly impactful and not high-priority.

Explain a moment where you realized, “I might actually be successful.”

I’ll go on Twitter and search “the Quinn app.” Not people who have tagged us, but people who are talking about it. When we first started Quinn, all of them would be technical issues or, “This is such a stupid app, it’s broken and it’s not working.” Probably a year ago is when I saw, “Oh my gosh, every woman needs Quinn” or “Download Quinn.” I just felt so relieved and happy that it was working. That was a big moment.

After a long productive day, what is your favorite treat for yourself?

I love the Real Housewives. Every city, especially Atlanta and Beverly Hills. So I would say just really sinking my teeth into, you know, a reunion episode. Anything with a lot of drama.

What is your go-to thank you gift?

I have to say flowers. Particularly, tulips.

If you weren’t currently CEO of Quinn, what career do you think you would be in?

I think I would probably be working at a startup or in the tech space. I worked at this company called Protocol Labs in college, which was a company that was trying to decentralize the internet, sort of like Pied Piper in Silicon Valley, and I really love that. So I feel like I would be doing something in that vein.

Originally Appeared on Glamour

https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/caroline-spiegel-rethinking-porn-next-173000827.html

Corrie’s Max in revenge porn heartache as identity of catfish is finally revealed

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Coronation Street’s Max Turner is set to become embroiled in a revenge porn storyline next week.

He’s had his fair share of divisive plots as of late, including outing teaching assistant Nicky Wheatley as a former sex worker and accidentally spiking Amy Barlow’s drink in an attempt meant for teacher Daniel.

But things seemed to have taken a more positive turn for the teenager after he met new girl Sonya and began flirting with her online… or did he?

Next week, Max prepares to head on a date with his new beau, but receives a message from Sonya asking him to send a picture of his entire package so she can see what to expect.

A stunned Max returns home and starts unbuttoning his shirt.

Max sends a nude pic to ‘Sonya’

But when they head out for dinner together, Sonya is perplexed as she reveals that she has never received any messages from Max, nor sent any back to him. Both teens are horrified to discover someone has set them up.

Outside, Max’s phone pings with a message, demanding he hands over £1,000 or his naked picture goes viral.

After dishing all to David, his dad tells him they won’t be paying Max’s blackmailer, and he’ll simply have to go to school and tough it all out.

But when Max gets to the bus stop, Chris and Blake are there, already mocking Max and quoting his messages to Sonya.

Corrie Max
He later confronts his blackmailers at the bus stop

Is it possible the bullies have been behind the messages all along?

Max isn’t the only one having problems next week, as a despondent Tim admits to Sally that the change in his heart medication hasn’t had any effect on their ailing sex life.

Worried their sex life is over for good, Tim’s not reassured when Sally tells him she loves him no matter what. Dr Gaddas recommends the pair see a sex therapist, but Tim isn’t keen.

Max
Things quickly start going wrong for the teen

Trina conducts the first sex therapy session, encouraging the married pair to gaze into each other’s eyes. Tim feels awkward about the whole thing, and declares it a total con and waste of time, leaving his wife disappointed.

Later, nurse Aggie confides in Tim that she and Ed have had a stupid row. But, late for a lunch date with Sally, Tim sadly doesn’t have time to listen to her.

Sally and Tim decide to pretend it’s their first date all over again, but Tim’s distracted to hear Ed telling Ronnie and Debbie about rowing with Aggie.

Fed up of being ignored, Sally heads home.

But could this be the end for the Metcalfes?

Coronation Street airs Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays from 8pm on ITV.

For more of the latest showbiz news from the Daily Star, make sure you sign up to one of our newsletters here.


https://www.dailystar.co.uk/tv/corries-max-revenge-porn-heartache-27208240

How to talk to your kids about real sex and porn

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Emma Thompson has said young people’s expectations of sex “can be very disturbing indeed”.

The actress (63) has spoken out about the “easy access” to pornography and the pressure on young girls, ahead of the release of her new film Good Luck To You, Leo Grande, about a widow hiring a young sex worker.

Speaking to Sky News about attitudes towards sex in her daughter’s generation, Thompson said: “I think some things are worse, when I hear stories in schools about boys and what they expect from girls…

“If you talk to young people about their sexual knowledge and what they expect, and what they think sex is, it can be very disturbing indeed, and I think can interfere with their sexual development.”

Emma Thompson suggests porn could be having a detrimental affect on kids (Dominic Lipinski/PA)

In a study conducted by the NSPCC in the UK, nearly half (48 per cent) of 11-16-year-olds surveyed had seen online porn.

And American organisation Youth First suggests the average age a child first sees online porn is 11 years old.

Over the past year or so, conversations about sexual harassment and assault in schools have opened up – particularly thanks to Everyone’s Invited (everyonesinvited.uk), a place for survivors of sexual assault to share their stories – showing how widespread the issue was in schools and universities.

So, how can parents and carers educate children on what a healthy relationship looks like, what consent really means, and the realities of pornography?

Put consent and pleasure at the forefront

According to GP and sexual function expert Dr Anand Patel, who works with Lovehoney (lovehoney.co.uk), “There is a misconception that if you start talking to kids about sex too young, they will want it. Actually, whether parents want their children to access it or not, they will find that information. It is never too young to start talking to children about consent.”

Sex educator and coach Ruth Ramsay (ruthramsay.com) agrees, saying: “Consent and boundaries are vital life skills children should be learning. By the time kids are ready for early sex education, it should then simply be a case of applying these lessons to sex.

“The same goes for pleasure; from their earliest days, children should develop an understanding that their bodies are something that gives them pleasure, and it’s a safe place to explore.

“As a sex educator and coach, I see way too often in my work with adults, how damaging it is to leave pleasure out of sex education. If we don’t understand sex is meant to feel good to us, as well as our partners, we’ll put up with negative experiences and behaviours.”

Talk to them about the realities of porn

Billie Eilish opened up about her experiences with porn in 2021. Photo: Ian West/PA

In 2021, singer Billie Eilish spoke out about how watching violent pornography at a young age “destroyed her brain”, and affected her first sexual experiences.

Speaking on SiriusXM, she said: “As a woman, I think porn is a disgrace. I started watching porn when I was like 11, and I didn’t understand why it was a bad thing. I thought that was how you learned to have sex.”

Ramsay shares that “porn is not intended to be sex education, but it’s the primary source of information for children and teens who are not receiving this information anywhere else.

“A metaphor which I find works for both kids and adults is: you wouldn’t expect to learn to drive by watching The Fast And The Furious, and in the same way we can’t learn how to ‘do’ sex by watching porn. Let them know its not ‘real’.”

There has been a push in recent years for more ethical, feminist porn, from creators such as Erika Lust, revolutionising the way porn is consumed and made.

Tailor conversations about sex to your child’s age – but be frank

There are different conversations about sex to have with your child at different ages, but Ramsay suggests honesty is the best policy – and to keep an open dialogue.

“There’s no one ‘conversation about sex’ to have with kids at one age. It’s a topic that builds. For example, as babies are growing into toddlers and learning about their bodies and names for body parts, correct names for genital anatomy should be included in a matter of fact way.

“When the child is older, if they don’t know the right names for their body parts, or feel their bodies aren’t a source of pleasure, they cannot practise informed empowered consent.”

Encourage question asking

Being able to have a calm and open conversation will help your kids feel more comfortable

Ramsay wants to see kids feeling more comfortable asking questions, particularly about something they may have heard at school, or seen in porn.

“Making sex a shame-free topic creates the space for kids to ask questions naturally,” she says. “However, they may be picking up shame messages from society and from other children, so reminding them, ‘Any time you want to ask me anything about sex, feel free’ is important. If they ask something you don’t know the answer to, don’t be embarrassed – say you’re not sure of the answer to that, and suggest you look it up together.”

Open communication will empower you both, and will hopefully stop your child turning to porn for their sex education.

https://www.breakingnews.ie/lifestyle/how-to-talk-to-your-kids-about-real-sex-and-porn-1318427.html

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How to Watch Porn With Your Partner: Expert Advice

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Pornography is often exclusively relegated to people’s solo sex lives — that is, they only ever watch it when they’re alone. But in addition to being a very helpful masturbation aid, viewing porn can be a fun erotic activity to share with a partner. The question is, how should you bring up watching porn with your wife or husband?

Now, first thing first: There’s a lot of research out there about the impacts of porn, and the results are fairly mixed — some find negative effects on people’s relationships, some find positive ones, and some find none at all. When it comes to watching specifically with a partner, however, a lot of research has found good news: One study published last year in the journal Frontiers in Psychology, for example, found couples who watched porn together actually report happier relationships and higher sexual satisfaction than couples who don’t.

I’ve picked the brains of various sex therapists about porn use over the years, and while it can be a controversial topic for some couples, it can also be a surefire erotic boost for others. Jessa Zimmerman, a licensed couples counselor and AASECT-certified sex therapist based in Seattle, notes that lots of couples enjoy consuming adult content together, and it can be a healthy part of a couple’s sex life if both partners feel good about the activity. Some sex therapists even recommend viewing sexual media as one of many ways to help couples reinvigorate intimacy.

“Porn, like any other erotic media, can be fun and interesting for many people. What we choose to watch or consume reflects what we find erotic and arousing,” Zimmerman tells Fatherly. “And imagery in our minds — whether from viewing a video, imagining the scene we are reading in a story, or our own fantasy — engages our brain as if we are in the scene, as one of the actors or as an observer.”

Sharing this experience as a couple can help partners become much more intimate with what turns each other on, Zimmerman notes, not to mention serve as powerful fuel for arousal to kick off a sexual experience together.

How to Talk About Porn With Your Partner

If you’ve never talked to your partner about watching porn together before, Zimmerman suggests bringing it up when you have time to discuss it. Suggest it as an idea that might be fun to explore together, and ask them what they think.

You might also consider trying to bring up the concept of porn into the conversation first and then segue into the idea of watching together. Or you can bring it up during a conversation specifically about trying new things in bed.

When you do have the discussion, pay attention to the energy in the room and your partner’s mood and body language — make sure this is something that’s interesting and exciting for you both before you proceed with actually trying it.

As you probably know, porn can sometimes be a divisive subject. Some people feel very uncomfortable with the concept of it or the idea of their partner watching it, so it’s important to check the temperatures before you suddenly suggest the idea of viewing it together.

That said, conversations about pornography, while potentially uncomfortable, are important for couples to have, especially if you suspect your partner might have a problem with it. Much of the research that’s found watching porn can have a detrimental impact on relationships is in fact not about the impacts of the media itself but rather the impacts of the lying, secrecy, and feelings of betrayal that can stem from discovering a partner’s porn habits years into a relationship.

“It’s important to understand someone’s objections to porn,” Zimmerman adds. “If they are concerned that it involves other people at all — like, ‘you should only imagine me’— that might be a bigger conversation.”

If you’re struggling to move through these big conversations, a few sessions with a sex therapist can be helpful.

Watching Porn Together: Best Practices

If you do decide to try watching a few clips as a couple, here are a few best practices to keep in mind to keep.

1. Figure out where your interests overlap

“You want to make sure that whatever content you choose is appealing to both people,” says Zimmerman. “Often, we find different things erotic than our partner does. So what you may enjoy on your own may not turn your partner on (and may even turn them off). That’s why it’s best to talk first about the idea of watching something together and what type of content you’d like to view.”

She suggests swapping links to the kind of material you each enjoy to see where there’s mutual interest. “I certainly advise doing this with an open mind and no judgment. The goal is to understand what is erotic to your partner, and for them to learn the same about you. Then you can look for the places where there is overlap between what you each find arousing.”

2. Make it a bonding activity

Watching porn together should be a way for the two of you to connect as a couple over shared erotic stimuli and learning each other’s fantasies. Talk about the scenes as you’re viewing them, identify what’s hot and interesting to you, and feel free to touch each other if you get inspired. Importantly, most people don’t find it fun to feel like your partner is absorbed by an actress on the screen and just using your body as a stand-in. Keep your focus on sexually connecting with your partner and pleasuring each other. The porn is just there for arousal and inspo.

3. Remember the fantasy principle

It’s important to remember that porn is just a fantasy, and it’s often not representative of how sex works in real life between real people — or even what people would want to actually do in their real lives.

“We can find things appealing in fantasy but have no interest in actually doing them,” Zimmerman notes. “Be aware that your partner may find your interest in porn or erotica as a symbol of what you must want in a partner or want in real life, and they could find that scary or worry that they don’t look like the people in the films. You may need to find ways to describe why something is arousing to you and why that doesn’t impact your enjoyment of your partner and of your sex life.”

4. Consider other formats

Some people find it easier or more fun to opt for other types of erotic media, such as written erotic stories or audio erotica. These non-visual formats allow couples to explore sexy themes and fantasies without having to look at specific other people’s bodies.

5. Keep checking in

Watching porn can be a lot of fun. It can also stir up some complex emotions and worries, especially when doing it with a partner and suddenly seeing in vivid detail what gets them off. If you do decide to explore this as a couple, make sure to keep checking in with each other before, during, and after to make sure you’re both continuing to feel good about it. Remember to stay connected to each other throughout the experience, and keep each other feeling sexy and satiated.

https://www.fatherly.com/life/watching-porn-with-your-partner

Categories: Reviews

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Why Do Some Women Like Violent Porn?

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The received wisdom is that pornography is a product made by men for men that promotes attitudes of women as nothing more than sex objects. According to this point of view, porn portrays sexual acts that are degrading to women, and often violent toward them as well. It also sees porn as a danger to society, in that it provides models of aggression toward women, desensitizing male viewers toward such objectionable behavior and even encouraging them to treat women badly.

There’s some truth to this point of view, in that a fair amount of porn does focus on the sexual pleasure of the male, often dominating his partner and sometimes even aggressing against her. However, there’s little evidence to support the claim that watching violent porn leads to acts of sexual violence in real life.

Furthermore, there are many categories of porn, each of which attracts different audiences with their own particular sexual tastes. This includes “female-friendly” porn, which typically portrays loving couples in romantic situations that culminate in sex, with the man of course being very attentive to his partner’s sexual needs. Presumably, if a woman wants to watch porn, this is what she should want.

Likewise, women have recently entered the porn industry, not as performers but as producers. In fact, the company Bellesa promotes itself as “a porn company run by women.” Its website offers several categories of porn, including “rough,” by which they mean scenarios in which the man dominates the woman, not the other way around. But what kind of woman would want to watch such porn?

What Kind of Porn Turns Women On?

According to Finnish media researcher Susanna Paasonen, there’s good reason to think that women are attracted to the same range of pornographic depictions that men are. In a recent article, Paasonen analyzes the responses of more than 2000 Finnish women to questions regarding their porn-viewing behaviors. The key question: “Is there a thing that turns you on, even if it feels confusing, gross, or weird? Tell more!”

The survey was conducted by the Finnish public service broadcasting company Yle for a popular lifestyle program called Jenny+. The majority of the respondents were between 20 and 40 years of age, reflecting the demographic of the program’s viewership.

After the program had aired, the producers provided Paasonen with the transcripts. In it, she found many comments about viewing violent porn, ranging from domination and submission to slapping and hair pulling, and even rape. The format of the transcripts didn’t indicate where one response ended and the next began, so Paasonen wasn’t able to calculate the percentage of respondents who’d indicated such an interest. Nevertheless, the comments do provide important insights into women’s motivations for watching porn.

Porn as Fantasy and Not as a Reflection of Reality

Paasonen’s analysis of the transcripts revealed several interesting themes. First, respondents who indicated that they themselves felt aroused by violent porn often stated the belief that most women wouldn’t like it. Here we see the tension between a personal reality in which an individual woman is attracted to portrayals of sexual violence against women and the social norm that women should be repulsed by it.

This tension between personal reality and social norms often led to feelings of guilt and even questioning why they found violent porn arousing. As one respondent put it: “Sometimes I fear playing into the hands of patriarchy with my porn use, and that my arousal isn’t ‘real’ but that I’m conditioned by misogynistic crap.” In other words, some women were torn between how they felt and how they believed they should feel.

Second, many respondents who said they were aroused by violent porn emphasized that they didn’t want to engage in that kind of sexual behavior with their partner. One respondent stated: “I really don’t like this kind of sex in real life but for some reason, it turns me on the most in porn.” Such statements suggest that at least some people prefer different things when viewing porn versus having partnered sex.

In fact, many of the women expressed a clear understanding of porn as fantasy rather than a reflection of reality. While some women were turned on by violent porn and found romantic porn uninteresting, these same women also emphasized that what they wanted from their partners was romance and not rough play. This suggests that for these women porn isn’t a reflection of or substitution for their partnered sex life but rather a different aspect of their sexuality.

Porn as a Safe Place for Exploring One’s Sexuality

Finally, a number of the respondents said they were turned on by gay or lesbian porn even though they themselves were straight. Although previous research has shown people watch porn for the kind of sex they want to have with their partner, Paasonen notes that people can also look for other categories, often out of curiosity. In this way, porn provides people with a venue for exploring their own sexuality, learning in a safe environment what they like and dislike.

Furthermore, Paasonen points out that people can enjoy porn because they identify with one of the performers. But they can also experience it in a voyeuristic sense in which they watch the performers without self-identifying with any of them. In this way, watching porn is much like viewing any other visual medium, in that we may find the story interesting without ever wanting to have such experiences in real life.

Research like this shows that both men and women are attracted to a wide variety of porn genres. No doubt, preferences vary widely from person to person, and even within the same person from time to time. In other words, notions such as men liking violent porn and women preferring romantic porn are too simplistic. Rather, the spectrum of sexuality for both men and women is very broad, and porn provides a safe place for exploring those fantasies, especially ones that viewers wouldn’t want to act out in real life.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/talking-apes/202206/why-do-some-women-violent-porn

Categories: Reviews

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14 Audio Porn and Erotica Sources to Help Turn You On

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Cost: Free

10. Emjoy

This intimate self-care app leans a bit more toward sexual wellness than porn, with guided audio practices and pleasurable meditations, but it has erotic stories as well. If you’re looking for a more holistic app that will help you get in touch with your desires and sexual well-being, Emjoy is an excellent place to start. It’s kind of like taking a class about your own body and sexuality—and the homework includes listening to erotica.

Cost: Free for limited access and $30/year for premium

11. Rosy

This Webby award-winning app, founded by an ob-gyn, is heavy on the wellness tips, so if you’re intrigued by a holistic approach to increasing your intimate relationship with your body and/or partner(s) that also includes a juicy library of audio erotica, Rosy might be just right. With stories ranging from romantic to explicit and with a variety of topics and types of stories (think married, kinky, LGBQT+, historical, etc.), you’ll be feeling flush in no time. And while Rosy’s offerings do sound an awful lot like Emjoy, the difference is in the admittedly pricey personalized add-ons (see below).

Cost: $10/month for the erotica-only tier, $50/month for the Gold plan (which includes erotica, a personalized wellness plan, and two group coaching sessions with a wellness expert), and $150/month for the Platinum membership (which includes all of the above, plus two 30-minute one-on-one coaching sessions)

12. The Bellesa Erotica Podcast

After a rocky launch featuring user-submitted pirated porn, Bellesa has found its footing as a one-stop shop for all things horny, from its own line of sex toys to its impressive catalog of free clips from partner studios, streaming porn, written erotica, and paid content from its own porn studio. The Canadian company recently started a cross-platform podcast featuring folks reading from its archive of free sex stories, because sometimes you just gotta rest your eyes.

Cost: Free

13. &Jane

Audio eavesdroppers will want to tune in to this app powered by women who get off on telling the world about their deliciously dirty deeds, either anonymously or not. Although listeners of all genders and sexual preferences are welcome, &Jane focuses on female storytellers and their adventures. You can even upload your own contributions or follow your faves as they upload new sex stories every week. &Jane also donates regularly to the Woodhull Foundation, a non-profit dedicated to sexual freedom, justice, and education.

Cost: $5/month or $39/year

14. FrolicMe

If you’re an equal opportunity erotica enthusiast and like to switch it up between reading erotic stories, watching sex in porn, and listening to tantalizing tales, FrolicMe has got you covered. The audio porn section of the site gives you the option of reading or watching along while you listen to a wide variety of stories, which are helpfully tagged with keywords about kink, the gender of the voice(s), and the general spiciness of the sex therein. You can also follow your favorite authors, including the aforementioned Girl on the Net!

Cost: Free for written erotica. The first five days are $6.50 before going to $13/month, $30/month, or $65/year.

Related:

https://www.self.com/story/audio-porn-erotica

Categories: Reviews

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More women than men turned on by ‘aggressive’ porn: study

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What women want isn’t as plain as it seems.

Female fans of pornography are watching more violence against women on film than men, a recent study revealed.

Nevertheless, both women and men preferred aggressive sexual content when performed consensually, as a vast majority of pornography viewers — 95% of women and 97% of men — are only aroused when they know they’re watching willing participants, PsyPost reported on Tuesday.

“The majority of viewers, both men and women, preferred not to watch aggression in pornographic videos, especially non-consensual aggression,” researcher Eran Shor, a professor of sociology at McGill University, told PsyPost, on research published last year in the Archives of Sexual Behavior.

“Still, among those who did say that they enjoyed displays of aggression, including rougher aggression, somewhat surprisingly women were a majority,” Scor continued. “Women were more likely to report being aroused by aggression, actively seeking aggression and wanting to see more aggression in mainstream pornography.”

Schor’s team recruited 122 anonymous porn users — 61 women, 60 men and one gender-diverse, who shared an average age of 25 — for in-depth audio interviews to explore their preferences and perceptions about sex and pornography.

Over half of all viewers, 53%, liked at least a little bit of aggression in porn — breaking down to 66% of women and 40% of men. Women, too, were more likely to go for “harder” expressions of aggression in porn and to seek it more than men — with themes such as bondage, discipline, dominance, submission and sadomasochism.

Notably, women also reported more feelings of shame and guilt regarding their more violent preferences. They also frequently shared that they had no interest in experiencing such acts personally, preferring only to watch. At the same time, many men reported feelings of discomfort while watching BDSM, according to investigators, underscoring that men are apparently no more interested in aggressive sex than women.

“One important thing is to be careful not to mix fantasy and real-life desires,” Shor explained. “Many women (and men) who found aggression arousing clearly stressed that they would not want to experience or try the acts they enjoyed on the screen in their own sex life. They emphasized that it was the visual representation of a fantasy that allowed them to feel aroused, while at the same time maintaining a sense of comfort and safety.”

Shor further asserted to PsyPost that “very little attention has been given … to female viewers, their preferences and their desires.”

“I noticed that much of the literature talked about aggression in mainstream pornography as a growing phenomenon (my findings show that this is not the case), claiming that this is driven by men’s desires for domination over women,” he explained.

The results seem counterproductive to the work of some feminist advocates, who believe that aggressive porn involving female victims leads to acceptance of domestic violence among men in the real world — which previous research has supported.

“That said, I think that the common tendency to ignore, belittle, sanction, or stigmatize women’s sexual preferences when these do not conform to some feminist expectations is problematic,” Schor said. “This tendency promotes moral judgment and stigma, resulting in feelings of guilt and shame among women who hold a preference for viewing aggression or acts of dominance in pornography.”

https://nypost.com/2022/06/07/more-women-than-men-turned-on-by-aggressive-porn-study/

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More women than men report being aroused by aggression in porn, according to study

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A study among pornography viewers suggests that more women than men are aroused by scenes that feature aggression toward women. Notably, both men and women emphasized a preference for aggressive porn that was consensual and pleasurable for both performers. The study was published in Archives of Sexual Behavior.

Past research has suggested that watching aggressive sexual content can lead to harmful outcomes, such as increased support for sexual coercion and violence against women. Feminist activists have expressed concern that aggression in porn — which is often directed toward women — contributes to gender inequalities and the dehumanization of women.

But researcher Eran Shor, a professor of sociology at McGill University, noted that little is known about pornography viewers’ feelings about aggression in porn.

“I became interested in this topic while I was teaching a Sociology of Deviance class, which included a section on the pornography industry,” he told PsyPost. “I noticed that much of the literature talked about aggression in mainstream pornography as a growing phenomenon (my findings show that this is not the case), claiming that this is driven by men’s desires for domination over women. Very little attention has been given in this literature to female viewers, their preferences, and their desires.”

To explore this, Shor set up in-depth interviews with porn users, asking them about their perceptions and preferences toward aggression in porn. The study author recruited a sample of 122 adults who had viewed porn at least once a month for the past year. The sample was roughly gender-balanced (61 women, 60 men, 1 gender-diverse) and had an average age of 25. The participants were from 28 different countries, although nearly half of them were Canadian.

Participants were interviewed via Skype by one of two research assistants for a duration between 30 and 120 minutes. To enhance confidentiality, only audio was used and participants were encouraged not to reveal their real names. The participants were asked specific questions regarding their thoughts about aggression in porn but were also given space to share their general views and experiences with porn.

A little over half the participants (53%) said they enjoyed at least some aggression in porn. While, overall, most women and men did not wish to see more aggression in porn, there were significant gender differences. While around 66% of women said they enjoyed at least some aggression in porn, only 40% of men did. Women were also significantly more likely than men to report enjoying “harder” aggression in porn, wanting to see more aggression in mainstream porn, and actively searching for porn videos that include aggression.

However, it is important to note that 95% of women and 97% of men said that they did not enjoy nonconsensual aggression. This suggests that most participants only enjoyed aggression in porn when performers were willing participants who seemed to have some control over the situation. Indeed, many of the interviewees emphasized that watching aggressive acts was only enjoyable when the female performers were consenting and seemed to enjoy the experience.

“The majority of viewers, both men and women, preferred not to watch aggression in pornographic videos, especially non-consensual aggression,” Shor explained. “Still, among those who did say that they enjoyed displays of aggression, including rougher aggression, somewhat surprisingly women were a majority. Women were more likely to report being aroused by aggression, actively seeking aggression, and wanting to see more aggression in mainstream pornography.”

Many female participants mentioned that they enjoyed bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, and sadomasochism (BDSM), although a number of them described feelings of shame and guilt surrounding their enjoyment of such content. Crucially, many women shared that they only enjoyed aggression within the context of porn videos, but did not wish to experience aggression within their own sex lives. This suggests that for most women, the enjoyment of aggression in porn reflects a fantasy centered around being dominated and relinquishing control.

“One important thing is to be careful not to mix fantasy and real-life desires,” Shor said. “Many women (and men) who found aggression arousing clearly stressed that they would not want to experience or try the acts they enjoyed on the screen in their own sex life. They emphasized that it was the visual representation of a fantasy that allowed them to feel aroused, while at the same time maintaining a sense of comfort and safety.”

“That said, I think that the common tendency to ignore, belittle, sanction, or stigmatize women’s sexual preferences when these do not conform to some feminist expectations is problematic. This tendency promotes moral judgment and stigma, resulting in feelings of guilt and shame among women who hold a preference for viewing aggression or acts of dominance in pornography.”

While some of the male interviewees also discussed their enjoyment of BDSM, many of them expressed feeling uncomfortable with aggression in porn to the point that they entirely avoided or skipped over this type of content. Such responses contradict the commonly-held belief that men tend to seek and enjoy aggression in porn.

The author noted that, like any self-report study, participants may have been reluctant to share their true opinions, which may have compromised the findings. On the heels of the #MeToo movement, some men may have been hesitant to share their preferences for aggressive porn to avoid being perceived as condoning sexual assault. It is also possible that some women held back due to similar fears.

The study, “Who Seeks Aggression in Pornography? Findings from Interviews with Viewers”, was published online on November 8, 2021.

More women than men report being aroused by aggression in porn, according to study

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When Does Men’s Porn Use Reduce Sexual Satisfaction?

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Source: 0fjd125gk87/Pixabay

People report different motives for using pornography. To illustrate, they use pornography for reasons related to distraction, fantasy, curiosity, stress reduction, boredom avoidance, and of course, sexual pleasure.

Despite years of research, it is still unclear whether the benefits of pornography (e.g., pleasure; learning new sexual techniques) outweigh its costs (e.g., reduced sexual satisfaction; lower relationship satisfaction).

Perhaps studying the frequency and quantity of porn consumption does not provide all the information we need in terms of the effects of porn on happiness and well-being. So what else should we study?

Perhaps the discrepancy between real-life sexual experiences and expectations for sexual behavior or appearances (as encouraged by porn). That is what a recent study by Kuan and colleagues, from Canada and the US, suggests.

Published in SAGE Open, this research is discussed below. Note, the study focused on men only.

Investigating the effects of pornography on relationship and sexual satisfaction

Data were collected during two waves, in 2016 (N = 105) and 2017 (N = 100).

Sample: 205 heterosexually active men (who reported using sexually explicit internet materials once or more times a week); average age of 32 years old (range of 18 to 58 years); 72% White, 13% Black; 43% college graduate, 14% high school graduate; 91% in a monogamous relationship.

Measures:

  • Consumption of sexually explicit internet materials. There were two questions: “How many days do you typically view sexually explicit internet material (SEIM) or internet pornography weekly (days per week, either streamed or downloaded)?” And, “On a day when viewing the downloaded or streamed SEIM (or internet pornography), how much time do you normally spend on it?”
  • Ideal-actual sexual discrepancy. A combination of items from different scales was used, including the Sexual Preference Scale (e.g., talking dirty during sex) and the Sexual Script Overlap Scale (e.g., partner being well endowed).
  • Sexual satisfaction. The Satisfaction with Sex Life Scale (“I am satisfied with my sex life”).
  • General self-esteem. The Rosenberg’s Self-Esteem Scale (“I feel that I have a number of good qualities”).
  • General life satisfaction. Satisfaction with Life Scale (“The conditions of my life are excellent”).
  • Negative affect. A scale was developed to assess negative affect (e.g., feeling discouraged, lonely). The items were adopted from the brief Positive and Negative Affect Schedule.

The role of ideal-actual sexual discrepancy in satisfaction and well-being

Analysis of data showed support for the role of ideal-actual sexual discrepancy in men’s well-being and sexual satisfaction in intimate relationships.

Ideal-actual discrepancy refers to the difference between expectations for appearances, attitudes, or behaviors—which are created by sexually explicit internet material and online pornography—and actual sexual experiences with female partners.

The study found somewhat different results depending on the age cohort examined. Specifically, men in their 30s who spent more time viewing internet pornography experienced a large ideal-actual sexual discrepancy with their female sexual partners. The large discrepancy explained the link between increases in consumption of internet pornography and decreases in sexual satisfaction.

For those in their late teens and 20s, increased pornography use and large ideal-actual sexual discrepancy together resulted in reduced sexual satisfaction.

How do we explain these age differences?

The Differential Susceptibility to Media Effects Model suggests individual differences and environmental factors impact vulnerability to the effects of pornography. Depending on these factors—such as an individual’s personality or stage of life (whether they are still exploring their sexuality), motivation for porn consumption (escape vs. curiosity), and the environment (peer pressure)—viewing pornography can have either lesser or greater negative effects.

Regardless of these differences, common to all age groups was this association: The larger the mismatch between ideal and actual sex, the lower the sexual satisfaction and well-being.

StockSnap/Pixabay

Source: StockSnap/Pixabay

Takeaway

The quantity or frequency of pornography consumption is not as good an indicator of the negative effects of porn use, as is the ideal-actual sexual discrepancy.

Specifically, in the research above, men reported lower well-being and sexual satisfaction (e.g., reduced self-esteem/life satisfaction) only when there was a larger difference between their ideal sexual appearances/behaviors and their actual sexual relationships with a partner.

As the authors explain, the “exaggerated and unrealistic sexual practices” in porn set up “an impossible or undesirable expectation of female partners,” and that “produces discrepant sexual experiences for heterosexual men and dissatisfaction with their experiences and their partners.”

What are examples of unrealistic or extreme sexual practices? Many porn videos feature scenes of men dominating women, often aggressively. Such scenes may lead viewers to expect or even seek similar violent sexual experiences. This can cause relationship conflict or even abusive behavior.

Subsequently, the realization that they cannot, in real life, dominate and control their female partners will likely impact these men’s self-esteem and masculinity in a negative way.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/finding-new-home/202206/when-does-men-s-porn-use-reduce-sexual-satisfaction

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How ‘Pleasure’ Presented A New Kind of Porn Film

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Ninja Thyberg used to be, in her own words, an “angry anti-porn activist.” Speaking over Zoom earlier this month, the 37-year-old Swedish filmmaker admits that, when she was 16 in the early 2000s, she was an active member of a group that stood in staunch opposition to the entire premise of people having sex on camera. It’s a rather interesting origin story for a director whose first feature film, NEON’s recently-released Pleasure, is all about the porn industry — especially since Pleasure itself doesn’t seem to take a stance on either side of the debate.

Rather, the unnervingly complex film uses its platform to delicately explore the broader reality of studio sex work, paying equal attention to the occupation’s highs, lows, and whatevers. Traces of what Thyberg likely latched onto during her anti-porn days still abound — brutal, unenjoyable sex; abject fetishization; overt coercion; exploitative agents; overall abuses of power — but Pleasure is equally invested in inspecting the alternative experiences to better examine why the controversial industry continues to be such a draw for those who seem to love working within it.

That Pleasure feels so balanced isn’t a coincidence. As Thyberg aged into adulthood, the filmmaker began questioning her own beliefs and eventually found herself on a “long journey” towards understanding the other side of porn. “I changed my perspective a lot during that time,” she says. “For a while, I became very interested in feminist pornography, and then I started to ask, What is ‘feminist pornography,’ and who’s to say what’s ‘degrading’ or ‘empowering’ for someone?

During this same time, Thyberg had been making short films that tapped into her preoccupation with matters of gender roles and performance. And as she fell deeper down a rabbit hole of porn industry research, the director decided that merging her two interests “felt like a natural step.” By 2013, Thyberg had directed a short film version of Pleasure, which played at Cannes and subsequently put her into contact with porn industry heavyweights. Now, after spending several years continuing her research (this time: in America, on real porn sets, alongside real porn actors), the director is back with its visceral feature adaptation, now playing in theaters.

In its latest iteration, Pleasure follows 20-year-old Bella Cherry, an inexperienced but determined aspiring porn actor, who has traveled all the way from small-town Sweden to try her luck at making it big in Hollywood. The uncut NC-17 film is expectedly graphic, marking Bella’s ascent through a number of different porn shoots. One of the earliest finds the film in its sweetest spot (the truest to its ironic title), tracking Bella as she films an erotically empowering woman-directed BDSM scene with an attentive partner who continuously responds to her needs.

Unfortunately, this positive experience gives Bella a false notion of what this industry can sometimes look like. In a rush to prove herself to potential casting agents, Bella decides she wants to do more hardcore work, only to find that not all hardcore scenes are created equally. In what is easily the film’s most viscerally unsettling scene, Bella endures a rough filmed encounter with two merciless men who rough her up, guilt her for temporarily trying to pull out, gaslight her into thinking that she asked for all this, and ultimately leave her in tears as she heads home. It’s a deliberately disturbing scenario that boldly resists easy answers — Bella does tell her agent (and her eventual scene partners) that she is open to and capable of handling rough sex, after all — but it’s also one that underscores the tricky tightrope Thyberg treads.

This refusal to exalt or diabolize the porn industry extends to Bella herself, who is refreshingly not painted as merely a victim of the system. This is surely a testament to Thyberg’s nuanced screenplay, but without the right actor in the role, Bella, who exists at the figurative (if not also literal) center of nearly every frame, could have still come across as a powerless cipher. Luckily, however, newcomer Sofia Kappel, in her on-screen debut, rises to the challenge, somehow imbuing her character with both a childlike sense of amazement at her surroundings and a disturbingly cutthroat mentality about what it takes to truly make it in this world.

Despite having no prior interest in acting (professionally or otherwise), Kappel was drawn to the project as both an opportunity to do something outside of her comfort zone and as a way to provide “sexual education” to people whose own might be inadequate. “In Sweden, which is a very progressive country, we have sexual education, but it’s very thin. So for a lot of young people, their sexual education is porn. But when people consume porn, they tend to replicate those images, and I think that’s harmful,” she explains. Pleasure, for what it’s worth, still shows sexual images many would find “harmful,” but the actress appreciates how the film exposes porn as more of a meticulously crafted fantasy than a realistic depiction of standard intercourse. Thanks to its central focus on what goes on behind the scenes in porn, Pleasure can, for instance, show rough sex while simultaneously highlighting how it requires special care, too. Plus, she just thought the message was important. “This movie is about so much more than just the porn industry,” she says. “It’s about companionship. It’s about patriarchy. It’s about capitalism.”

For Thyberg, the film was also about subverting the norms of the porn genre without actually making a traditional version of it. The director achieved this in ways both practical (“I didn’t want to show [Bella’s] naked body being sexually abused. I think we’ve all seen too many naked female bodies being abused,” she says about her decision to film the sex scenes from Bella’s perspective, rather than from the usual men’s) and stylistic (in key parts of the sex scenes, the image slows and blurs — a clever trick used to show how Bella is attempting to dissociate from the moment). All tactics are used to ensure that the audience never loses sight of Bella.

Tricks aside, both director and star maintain that authenticity is paramount in a film like this. After years spent immersed in L.A.’s porn industry, speaking with the people who make and star in it, Thyberg had already put in the time. But Kappel, on the other hand, arrived to the project quite green, but very eager to learn. “As soon as I got the part, I flew out to Los Angeles with Ninja, and on my first day in the U.S., I went to a porn set,” she recalls with a slight chuckle.

“To me, what was important wasn’t only to understand how the industry works, because Bella doesn’t really know how the industry works,” Kappel continues, detailing how she attended porn industry events and parties, in character as Bella Cherry, to help prepare for the role. “I just wanted to get in the right headspace and have a genuine understanding and appreciation of the people in the industry because I wanted to portray Bella as authentically as I could.”

To ensure that Kappel could achieve this, Thyberg knew she’d have to take extra precautions, starting by making sure the actress felt comfortable working alongside every person she would have to film with. “I was so involved in the pre-production and in the casting,” Kappel tells me, going on to explain how her big, brutal threesome scene was one of the easiest to film because she trusted her scene partners so much. “It was a huge responsibility for Ninja to make sure that I was safe and comfortable at all times, so I had a say in who I made those scenes with.”

“By the time we started shooting, [Sofia and I] had already been developing the character together for like nine months,” Thyberg tells me later. “She had probably been through like 200 auditions because I wanted her to meet everyone that we auditioned and make sure that they had a good connection and also that she felt comfortable with them.”

Thyberg believes that the “really strong relationship” she established with her star was key to making the movie she wanted to make — one she had been making, in a way, since she first joined that anti-porn activist group two decades ago. Much about her worldview has evolved since then, but the director has never lost sight of her central interest in discussions about bodily autonomy and female empowerment. If her film ended up exploiting her lead, would it really be any better than the non-feminist porn that pits male satisfaction over female pleasure?

Near the end of our conversation, I follow up on one of Thyberg’s earlier answers, in which she expressed an initial nervousness about someone from the porn industry “calling [her] bluff” after the release of her Pleasure short film. Now that you’ve released a film that was actually informed by those same industry veterans, I inquire, have you received any new feedback?

“Everyone keeps telling me how authentic it is,” she responds, beaming with pride. “So many people who are part of the industry and who’ve seen it have come up to me or written to me to say that it’s so authentic, that I’m literally telling their exact story.”

I wonder what her 16-year-old self would say now.

Pleasure is playing in select theaters now.

This article was originally published

https://www.nylon.com/entertainment/pleasure-movie-new-kind-of-porn-film

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